At the End of the Day
by Lyra Lupin
Summary: Sometimes love walks in without you knowing it and out before you've had a chance to embrace it. At the end of day, will Remus just let her walk away?
1. Chapter 1

Lupin/ Tonks PG

All these characters and their world belong to J.K.R.

* * *

**At the End of the Day**

If you see the Moon at the end of the day,  
A bright Full Moon is on its way.  
If you see the Moon in the early dawn,  
Look real quick, it will soon be gone.

He really hadn't meant to fall in love with her. To be her fellow Order member, yes; to be her friend, without question. Then night fell, voices lowered, starlight mingled with lonely souls, and friendship suddenly became longing. Longing for each other after the children had gone to bed, after the Order members had left the house and they could share a bottle of wine, a brick of chocolate and something so much more. Conversations melded to whisperings, intimate flickering of eyes, nervous laughter, bumping knees under the kitchen table, soft strokes from her fingertips.

Part of him felt guilty. Guilty that he was enjoying Nymphadora's laughter when Sirius was dead. Guilty he was feeling joy, wanting more when there was nothing more for his friend. And there was shame, too. Shame because she was too young, too beautiful, too bright for a grey, dull, shelved book such as himself. He should let her go, cut her off for her own good, but he couldn't because he was low. Low and needful and yearning simply for her smile, which made every waxing moon so much easier to bear.

When the candlelight flickered in her black eyes, her lips red with wine, cheeks blushed with laughter; did she know he loved her most then? But there were so many other moments; when she burned Molly's supper, or fought with the umbrella stand or spoke passionately about 'The Cause,' or closed her eyes as he placed a piece of dark chocolate on her tongue; those moments made him love her just as much.

"Remus, top off your glass?" she asked, bottle in hand. "It's nearly empty."

Awakening from his thought, "Oh, yes," he answered quietly, raising his glass, hand a bit shaky.

She smiled, her form golden in the cast of the single candle. "You're trembling."

Glass filled, he sat it securely on the table, eyes looking away from her. "Nervous, I suppose."

"Right." Tonks replied. Biting her lower lip, she sat down and took a long sip from her own glass. "Well, I did want to tell you something. Ummm…" Small finger fidgeted on the rim of the crystal. "Bill asked me out."

Pale blue eyes darted up. "Oh?"

Tonks held her breath. Her heart twisted and silently cried, _Say something Remus! Say it now!_

"Well," voice breathy, Remus took a gulp of the red Merlot, padding his courage, "That should be nice." Dear gods, was there anvil on his chest?

She swallowed, eyes burning against him. "I haven't said yes, yet."

"No. Hmmm…" Eyes studied his glass intently. What was that damn pressure in his chest?

Tonks closed her eyes. _Fight for me Remus._

Silence. Tick, Tick, Tick…

He drained rest of his glass, still avoiding her eyes. "It's getting late."

She stood and bundled on her coat and long pink scarf, glass half empty.

He looked at her, and she at him. The flame was gone from her eyes now; there was only a static darkness.

Releasing a quick "goodnight," she turned from the room.

Lupin didn't move, even as he heard her kick the umbrella stand and slam the front door. He sat frozen. He'd done the right thing, hadn't he?

Rubbing his hand against his heart, he wondered again at the strange, maddening pressure.

* * *

Author's note:Does he let her walk away? I haven't decided yet. 


	2. Chapter 2

**End of the Day**

**Chapter 2**

It was the end of the day and Remus Lupin sat alone at the kitchen table, third beer in hand. He sat silently, staring at the brown bottle with the nagging feeling that he'd **lost something**. Then with the guilt of a thief, he soothed his hand over a small leather-bound journal.

Opening the book, he let the pages flip randomly; however, the notebook instinctively kept opening to one of the latter passages:

"_I feel like I've lost something but can't remember what. I look around the old house, and everything is here. Everything I haven't already destroyed and some things that I wish I could destroy, but are proving indestructible. _

_I found a picture of the old gang at Hogwarts - James looking so confident, Lily with fiery hair, Remus still looking hopeful, and me laughing, not a care in the world. Then I begin to wonder what has happened to that man? I laugh, but it's the voice of an old man that answers. I look at Remus and I see a lie— I remember the betrayal. He has forgiven me, but I can't forgive myself. For any of it. _

_Is it youth that I'm missing? Friendships that can never be reclaimed? My cousin told me it was love…"_

Remus stopped there and let the book fold shut. Then closing his eyes, he lowered his head to the table, letting his unshaven cheek rest against the soft, aged leather. Inhaling deeply, he sighed as Sirius' musky scent filled his nostrils and his heart. He wondered if he had lost hope - isn't that what Sirius was commenting on? If he were hopeless, how could Tonks ever love him?

He strained his brow and tightly pinched his eyes shut. Sometimes he wished that he would never wake up.

* * *

"_Hey Tonks,_

_Just confirming that I'll pick you at around 8:00 p.m. tonight. _

_Bill"_

Nymphadora crumpled up the letter and tossed it in the dwindling fire beside her office desk where it burned too slowly. Crossing her arms and huffing, she wondered aloud, "What is wrong with that man?"

"To which man are you referring?"

Moody was suddenly leaning over her desk, breath smelling like a sewer in summer, magical eye looking directly through her. "Ahhh, Remus Lupin."

Nymphadora had ceased to be startled by his sudden appearances and all-seeing eye.

"That is none of you business," she quipped and picked up her wand as Moody sat unfazed on the edge of desk.

"I'll tell you what's wrong with 'that man'; he's a werewolf and a damned smart one."

Tonks began passionately, "Don't you talk"

"Shh! I'm not done."

Moody waved a silencing charm on her, and Tonks did the only think she could do - clamped her mouth shut and glared.

"As I was saying, most men are dumb. Why do you think they're so easily poisoned?"

Tonks rolled her eyes.

"Remus is like a man afraid of poison - a wise man." Moody adjusted his hat. "However, every man has to drink to live. If they don't, they'll die of thirst, and that's nearly as bad as being poisoned." He leaned an inch away from Tonks' own nose. "Are you understanding this?"

Tonks responded by pinching her nose.

"You, Nymphadora, are like a fresh mountain stream trickling through a desert to him. There is nothing he'd like to do more than rip off his clothes and swim through your refreshing waters."

Tonks stood to leave, but Moody grabbed her wrist.

"But Remus has trained himself that waters, especially those that are so alluring, can be poisoned! Therefore, even when he sees a sign that says 'water safe to drink', he just can't make himself do it."

Tonks crossed her arms and huffed silently.

"My gods woman, don't you understand what I'm saying?" He shook her by her wrist. "He'll die if he doesn't drink! So don't let him sulk off to the desert and die a slow death."

Tonks pointed at her throat and Moody waved his hand, releasing her from the silencing spell.

"I already gave him that chance!"

Moody's cracked lips snarled into a smile.

"No dear," he said, crooked finger wagging. "You posted the sign."

Tonks gave into this metaphor with a sigh, "Alright, then how do I get him to drink?"

"You make it rain," Moody said with a wink and walked from the office. "Goodnight, Tonks."

* * *

Author's note: Thanks Mercutio-Rane for beta-ing this little work! 


	3. Chapter 3

"**At the End of the Day"**

**Chapter 3**

Bill leaned against the door frame, hands casually in the pockets of his worn jeans, hair still wet and slicked back, his dragon tooth earring catching the light.

"Tonks." He grinned as he said her name.

Nymphadora stepped through the threshold of the door to greet her suitor. "Hello Bill."

Taking her hands in his, he pulled her close and kissed her cheek, voice low as he added, "I'm so glad we're finally doing this."

She pulled away, quickly turning to fumble with the door lock. "Uh, yeah…me, too."

"So I thought we'd go to _La Petite Fromage_."

Tonks wrinkled her eyebrows. "The small cheese?"

He laughed slightly. "Silly name, isn't it? But great French food. Fleur's favorite place."

This time, she nearly winced as he mentioned his ex. Wasn't there a rule in the unwritten first date handbook that you should never mention your ex-girlfriend? Not that Tonks dated a lot, but it was kind of weird.

Bill causally took Nymphadora's hand, and as they walked down the hallway he smiled at her and said, "Like the blue eyes." Then looking ahead, he added, "Have you ever thought about going blonde?"

By the end of the evening, Tonks knew every detail of Bill and Fleur's disastrous two-year relationship; and being stuffed with cheese, snails and some strange meat dish that she couldn't translate only added to her nausea. It was obvious that Bill was in serious Fleur-withdrawal; and although it was annoying, she couldn't really be mad at him. Someone else was on her mind, too.

"And that's when she told me to move out. Really, was that way too far over the top? Tonks?"

"Uhh… I'm sorry." Three hours later, she was doing a rather good job tuning Bill out, her mind drifting to more pleasant thoughts. _Oh, Remus. I miss you. _"What did you say?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "Never mind. It probably was too much."

Finally, they were at her flat. "Well, we're here."

Bill took a step forward, and Tonks put a hand against his chest. "No need to walk me up."

"Alright," he answered, voice solemn.

Then before she could yell _Immobulus_, his lips were against hers. Warm breath, a gentle touch; then lips parted and there was more…

"No," she whispered, drawing back. Even with her eyes closed, she knew he wasn't the man she wanted to be kissing like this. "Bill, you don't really want to be with me tonight," Tonks finished with a broken sigh.

He opened his mouth to protest but said nothing.

"You just don't want to be alone."

With his right hand, he cupped her face and in his eyes, she could see his affection for her. "You've always been my best friend, Tonks."

Closing her eyes, she took his hand in hers. "I know."

"I wish it was you." The sincerity of Bill's voice pierced her heart.

"We can't choose who we love," she whispered, gripping his hand tighter.

Bill nodded. "No we can't." Their hands fell away from one another,and he ran a hand through his long red hair. "So how do we end this?"

Nothing was worse than an awkward good bye.

Tonks looped her thumbs through her belt hooks. "Owl me next week. We'll get a pint, have a good laugh."

Finally, he smiled again. "I'd like that."

"So would I."

"Good night, Tonks."

"Good night, Bill." Then he turned on his heel, and in the shadow of a street lamp, she watch him walk away.

But turning to go inside her building, she heard him shout, "He's crazy about you, Tonks!"

She turned to Bill's shadow, calling to her from the sidewalk. "What?"

"You know who I'm talking about. Ol' Moony! He loves you."

She quickly turned away, trying to blow off his insinuation. "Thanks for the update."

"Just don't muck it up like I did with Fleur. Like you said, we can't help who we love." And with a pop, he apparated into the darkness.

Tonks, visibly shaken, leaned against the callbox and wondered how Bill knew about her and Remus. Her own words ran like a mantra though her mind.

_You can't help who you love… _

And with a lonely heart, she buzzed herself in alone.

* * *

_Author's Note_: Special thanks to my skateboard-loving beta for getting my lazy butt motivated to finish this. One more chapter coming. 


	4. Chapter 4 and one half

**At the End of the Day**

**Chapter 4**

It was Friday night and there Remus sat, trying to work at his desk in the library of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, but thoughts of an enraptured Nymphadora Tonks and Bill Weasley kept sullying his purer thoughts. Jealousy, like a poisonous vine, was squeezing every last logical, rational notion from his mind until a violent passion consumed even his body.

"Damn it!" He cursed and threw his dictionary across the room then recoiled, feeling surprisingly better; however, the violent release was bittersweet as Tonks' sweet face once again peered at him from tender memories.

Remus put his head on the desk, but he wasn't tired. He was anxious. His body was awake and restless due to covetous desires and the waning moon.

"But what should I do?" he asked the empty room. _If only Sirius were here._

Putting out his hand, the coarse edge of Black's leather book jacket played against his thumb. Sitting up and feeling utterly a fool, he flipped opened the journal in an attempt at accidental advice.

"…_and Emmeline readily agreed. After the meeting, we ascended to my room where we took dessert sans clothing…Then she took the chocolate mousse and well, I must say Ms. Vance has a very creative mind and very tender tongue…That woman is ravenous regarding her sweetmeats_!"

Remus closed the journal and moved his reading lamp farther back. If he was looking to Sirius' notebook for spiritual guidance, he'd come up quite short.

_On second thought.._

He stroked his chin. Maybe sex was what Nymphadora wanted. Conveniently, that was what he wanted, too. Surely, it was too easy a thought to be true….if Tonks was merely going out with Bill for a quick shag…. well, she could have approached him for that!

He sighed aloud. "She probably thinks I'm not capable." Lycanthropy. Women always had misconceptions. _Perhaps that's why she's gone out with Bill, why she told me about the date - to indicate she was merely fulfilling a natural urge but she'd be back with me at the kitchen table tomorrow night laughing, talking_….

BANG!

This time Remus threw the thesaurus. He was tired of talking; he wanted more, he wanted…

The study door opened just as he was about to project a very heavy copy of T.S. Eliot's collected works into the fireplace.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Remus casually placed the large volume back on his desk, his pleasant façade rematerializing as he elegantly wiped his heated brow with a handkerchief.

"No, just cleaning up. Please Bill, come in."

* * *

_Make it _rain. _Make it rain…MAKE IT RAIN!_

"How the hell do I 'make it rain'!" Tonks yelled aloud as she slammed the door of her flat behind her. She was beyond irritated with Remus. She was mentally torn, physically exhausted and sexually frustrated. Didn't this man know when she was dropping him a hint?

"All he had to say was 'don't go'! How much easier could I have made it for him!"

Plopping down on the sofa, Moody's words still plagued her.

"Well, I could take off my clothes and jump in his bed while he's sleeping, or I could take off my clothes while he's having tea at his desk, or I could take off my clothes…" She stopped herself as she realized that every idea she had for 'making it rain' started with taking off her clothes.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. _Dear gods, Bill's kiss must have really gotten to me_. Except it wasn't Bill that her passions claimed. It was another man; her dear, sweet professor in a worn tweed suit with broken grey eyes and an enduring smile. A man with bony knees, a crooked nose, a warm laugh, a gentle touch…and a very nice ass.

Nymphadora plunked her head in her hands and considered amending her earlier advice to Bill to "You can't help who you love _or_ who you _want_."

Shaking her head, she laughed at her own unbelievable desires. "Little, uncivilized Nymphadora Tonks in love with polished Professor Lupin." Perhaps it was possible that Remus was having a difficult time believing it, as well.

* * *

"Have a seat." Remus motioned to the sofa in front of the desk.

"How are things going, mate?" Bill languidly spread his body out against the ancient leather couch, eyes searching the face of his acquaintance.

Remus pressed his thin lips together and took a seat at the desk. "Busy," he finally replied as he appeared to tidy the papers on his desk.

Bill released a heavy sigh, then sitting forward, elbows propped against his thighs, he said quietly, "I had a date with Tonks tonight."

"Really." Lupin crossed his legs and pushed his back further into his chair.

"I suppose she told you."

"Why would you think that?" he pointedly replied, belying his interest, hands tightening in his lap.

"Because when I asked her out, she was hesitant. She finally told me that you two had this thing going on and she'd have to ask you first." His dark blue eyes held serious intent. "Of course, I wasn't surprised. Everyone in the Order knows you have _something_ going on the way you two look at each other, the way you whisper at meetings when you think no one is watching."

Remus broke eye contact at Bill's allegation, and the other man leaned back, crossing his arms. "I suppose that's why I did it. You're the reason that I asked her out."

"I don't understand." Remus released quietly as the oldest Weasley stood and walked over to the fireplace.

"You see Remus, I always thought ol' Tonks and I would be walking down the aisle, popping out the kiddies and such. Yeah, we dated other people, but there was always something special between the two of us. Until you came along."

His slender hands fingered the dusty mantle. "I was jealous." After a long pause of silence, kicking his boot against the fire grate he laughed and looked up at Remus. "You know I spent the entire evening talking about Fleur?"

Lupin's face held a mixture of sympathy and pain.

"And Tonks, damn her, told me that 'we can't help who we love,' and she was right." He paused and rubbed the palms of his hands against his scratchy eyes. "I've known Tonks a long time, mate, and she's crazy about you."

"I didn't…" Remus began, but didn't know how to finish.

Bill smiled and approached the desk. "She's a brilliant woman with an incredible heart; you'd be a fool to let her walk away."

"I suppose I would," Remus heard himself say.

Then standing, he was eye-to-eye with Bill. "I'm sorry about trying to steal her away from you, Lupin." Bill extended a hand and a crooked smile. "Go and make the woman happy. Her heart's already yours."

Lupin gripped the younger man's hand. "I appreciate your honesty, Bill."

As Weasley walked towards the door, he replied candidly, "And I appreciate you not cursing me tonight." Then with a courteous nod, he left Remus alone with his thoughts.

* * *

_Purple tanga or hot pink thong? No, Remus is more of classic man._ Tonks mused as she continued to dig furiously through the florescent colors and wildly provocative articles of her lingerie drawer. Finally, she located her _classic _black satin knickers and a devious smile crossed her face as she surveyed the perfect panty. "Yeah baby!"

"Nymphadora?"

Tonks flipped around suddenly and hastily dropped the panties to the floor as she raised her wand in one fluid motion. Then clutching her chest, "REMUS!"

"Yes, it's me." He raised his hands slightly as he stood in her bedroom doorway. "I should have knocked, but I had a feeling that you might still be up."

"My gods! You surprised me!" Returning her wand to the back pocket of her jeans, she turned to close her dresser drawer. She had certainly been fantasizing about him being in her bedroom, but she didn't expect him to appear, especially looking so agonizingly handsome in his work suit. "What are you doing here?"

"May I come in?" He motioned to enter her private pink domain.

"Of course." She sat on the edge of her bed and awaited his presence.

With slight hesitation, he sat beside her. Tonks realized it was the first time they had been alone together with nothing but a bed. _Hmmm…_

"Nymphadora, I wanted to tell you." Remus sighed, then looked her fully in the eyes. "I wanted to tell you not to go out with Bill."

Tonks looked at him incredulously. "Remus. I already went out with Bill tonight."

"Yes, I know. He told me."

Tonks threw him a look of bewilderment. "What? He told you about our date? Already?"

"Actually, Bill stopped by to give me a bit of advice." At this moment, Remus moved his hand from the bedcover and slipped his long fingers around Nymphadora's.

Her eyes widened as Remus made his intentions clear, his thumb stroking the thin, sensitive skin of her wrist. She blushed to find his eyes upon her and felt even more naked than she did in her fantasies.

"He told me that we can't help who we love."

Her lips parted, but she was speechless.

And with confidence and conviction he kissed her, pressing his tongue ever-so-slightly against her parted lips. As he pulled away, she took his other hand in hers and grasped it tightly. Some part of her feared that he might apparate away if she didn't hold onto him with both hands.

"Nymphadora," Remus smiled, "Will you go out with me some-"

"Yes!" She laughed and Lupin's heart warmed. "I don't want to sound like I'm overly eager, Remus, but.." She bit her lip, still smiling. "I'm overly eager."

"Good." Every tired muscle Remus possessed relaxed. The worry, the stress, the fear; they were all gone. Tracing his hand down her heart-shaped cheek…across her lips…to her chin. He studied her like a fine sculpture. "You are so beautiful, Nymphadora." He smiled ever-so-slightly. "I've been wanting to tell you that since the first day we met. Isn't it silly how I never did until now?"

But Tonks didn't smile. Instead, she soothed her hand across the scars that disfigured his cheek. "It's not silly. That first night, I thought you were beautiful, too. I wanted so much to touch you; to touch your face, to touch your wounds." Then leaning forward, she kissed his unshaven jaw, his crooked nose and finally his thin lips that reflected her needful yearnings.

After several minutes of gentle exploration, Tonks pulled away. "Remus, it's the end of the day. The moon will be full tomorrow, and you'll be…away from me."

Remus turned his eyes away from her, his curse shaming him. Then placing a finger to his chin, she brought back his gaze. "Stay with me tonight."

Before he could protest, she began peeling the tweed jacket from his shoulders. "Was that a yes?" she teased.

"It's difficult to say 'no' to a beautiful woman who's undressing me in her bed."

Neither knew how far tonight would go or what the future months and years would hold. But in each other's arms, they knew it wasn't the end of the day but the dawn of a new love and a new beginning.

* * *

_Author's Note: _Thanks so much for the reviews. I'd only meant for this to be a one shot, but I just couldn't stand Remus letting her get away. Thanks Laird for the T.S.Eliot suggestion! Go here if you want to know what poem Remus had been reading in his collected works. http/ 


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